NIGHTFURY18

After about six or seven moths of anxiously awaiting exam results, paperwork and the "ok" to go trap my first bird for falconry, my permit came in the mail on August 30, 2012 when I was 13 years old. Literally the next day, we went out trapping South of us, near the Country. At 10:16am, September 1, 2012, I brought hom a lovely little tercel passage red-tail that I named Kona. I loved Kona with all my heart, and he wa what I woke up for every day, and I got him free-flying within three weeks of trapping. I was living the dream, on cloud nine with Kona, but then something happened that dragged me into the ground: Kona got aspergillus, a disease that chokes them out within 2 or 5 days. I was crushed that we couldn't treat it before he died in my arms on October 4, 2012. Such a short time with such a young life made me depressed, and it might not seem like a big deal to lose a bird, but it was my whole world. We went trapping after that because my sponsor told me I needed to continue, even with this loss, but we didn't find anything for two weeks. Then, along came Harley, my female red-tail that's twice the size of Kona. I trapped her on October 14, and brought her home to train. She didn't lok the same, or feel the same, but I knew I would love her all the same. She was feisty and a fighter and she was stubborn and loved to attack the food. This would be a perfect hawk. Then, (God sure is giving me luck at this point...)Harley strainns her legs from continous bating off a perch designed for Kona. 3 moths go by until she stands again, while I'm drowning in a panic disorder because I'm so freaking scared of losing another one. But she is here with me today, and is getting stronger every minute. I thought I'd let people know about my panic disorder, it causes me to have htese things called panic attacks, where your heart starts pounding and the walls look like they're moving out towards a point like tunnel vision. I've never blacked out before but they are getting worse.